


Wizard Cravings

by RoninReverie



Series: Hisirdoux's Incidents Throughout the Centuries [2]
Category: Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons)
Genre: 1976, Flashbacks, Gen, Inspired by episode, Possessed Claire Nuñez, benoit's french bistro, wizard diets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28582635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoninReverie/pseuds/RoninReverie
Summary: A chance encounter at work prompts an old memory about the strange dietary habits of wizards and why it is important to always, always go out for burgers.Based on "So I'm Dating a Sorceress" from season 3 episode 4 of Trollhunters, as well as yet another piece oflovely Tenyai art!
Series: Hisirdoux's Incidents Throughout the Centuries [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2094345
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	Wizard Cravings

**Author's Note:**

> Posted on: 9/5/20

#  **PRESENT DAY**

Another day of work at the restaurant brought with it an interesting surprise as that young girl, Claire, sat down at one of the outside tables with three of her friends. There was something familiar about her, Douxie recognized that much after meeting her at that high school when he handed out the battle of the band posters. Though he couldn't quite place where he had seen her before, the fact that she had magic in her was transparent to someone who had spent the last 900 years keeping tabs on that sort of thing.

She must have been a new witch, and he had bumped into his fair share of those in the last few decades. Arcadia seemed to draw in a curious lot of new sorcerers, himself, Zoe, and a handful of the hedge wizards she worked with down at the tech shop included. It was entirely possible that Claire was the newest of the bunch, and that made her somebody to get to know. 

After a bit of small talk, the boy in blue gathered up their menus and ordered for the table, apparently in a rush of some sort, but Douxie didn't pry. A lot of people, young people especially, came out to dine and then get to the cinema across the street. _He must have been worried they would miss their movie?_

“Excellent choice." He said. "Now how would you like your steaks prepared?”

As the others one by one asked for their meat well-done, Douxie was taken aback when Claire roared out with sudden savagery. 

“Raw! Dripping with blood!”

He couldn’t even hide the look on his face as the table grew quiet, but judging by her reaction afterwards, he could tell that she was just as surprised about her outburst as everyone else appeared to be.

He chuckled awkwardly and made a note on his pad.

“As the lady wishes. Four steaks. One raw. Dripping with blood.”

With that, he walked— rather hurried— away to deliver the order to the kitchen.

“Phew! And I thought Morgana’s cravings were killer!” He took in a breath and smiled before setting the order up on the wire. “Ey, Felix!” He called back to the chef. “Better prioritize those four steaks before the lady at the table bites my head off! She’s got quite an appetite on her tonight.”

“You got it, Douxie.” He saluted him with his spatula. “I’m just glad it’s you out there on the front lines and not me. I don’t have the stomach to deal with hangry people face to face.”

“You don't know the half of it…” He chuckled under his breath, coming up with a playful bow as he replied louder. “I’ll just consider it one of my many, many talents.” 

“Yeah yeah…” The chef smirked and rolled his eyes. “Use some of that talent to take this bread out to the table and hope it calms them down a little, okay rock star? And while you’re there, give this to tables four and seven.”

“You’re the boss,” he nodded, and went off to do his job.

When he was through with his inside route, he made it back outside, though he did not see Claire present as he walked up to their table.

 _She must have gone to cool off a little?_ He figured.

“Bread for the table?”

The three thanked him, one of the boys straining a little as if he was in pain, but Douxie chose not to ask. He hurried to make his other rounds, seeing Claire and her friend returning to their seats not long after, and Claire looking— well— a little _crazed_ if he were being honest with himself.

“Not good…” 

He glanced outside and noticed her waiving a knife around as it flew out of her hands and into the cutting board of their bread.

“Ummm… what’s the status on those steaks, Felix?”

“Ready to go. Try to come back with all your fingers intact.” He wiggled his hands. “Guitarist is no good without them, right?”

Douxie chuckled, but snatched up the dishes and made a swift beeline out to the table. 

_Guitars? Bands? The battle of the bands, of course! That was good! Maybe a little friendly conversation would ease her thoughts from the cravings?_

“Here we are. Four steaks. Rare.” He set down the plate, careful to keep it separate from the other three that were well-done, as he backed up and continued trying to speak with Claire. “But I’d love to hear your band sometime.”

Her hand came up and blocked him out, not even offering a sideways glance as she shut him down. 

“Begone servant.” 

“Oh. My apologies…” He retreated into himself rather quickly. 

_Okay… so … no small talk._

He shuffled off, barely catching the sounds of ravenous eating that followed behind him as his eyes grew wide and he waited against the wall before peeking back out to see the steak supernaturally devoured.

“Ooh, that’s a bad case right there.” He swallowed hard, remembering back to that unfortunate incident in the 70’s when Zoe had wanted them to try and become vegetarians. 

Blinking, he took out his phone and made a motion back to the kitchen as he hurried to the backroom. 

“Just a minute, need to make a quick call.”

“Hurry back, Doux!”

Once in the safety of the closet, he pulled up his contacts and waited for the receiver to pick up.

“Uh, Hello?”

“Zoe?”

“What’s up?” she asked. “Aren’t you at the restaurant right now? Why are you calling? What did you do?”

“Yeah, about that." He smirked. "You feel like grabbing a burger after this?”

“Uh… okay? Random. What brought this up all of the sudden?”

“Just remembering back to a promise we made.” He chuckled sheepishly, eyes going wide as he let out a breath. “A very vivid reminder…” 

“Alright weirdo. I’m off at ten. You?”

“Ten is good.”

“I’ll pick up Archie and meet you at the place then.”

“Thanks Zoe.”

“Uh huh,” she said, her voice conveying that they were absolutely not done with this conversation. “See you then.”

The line went off and he let out a relived sigh. Something wasn’t sitting quite right with him, and he feared it was more than just the shocking reminder of the side effects to wizard cravings. He would need to keep a better eye on Claire, especially until she got a better grasp of her magic. But for tonight, the steak should do its work. Triple meat pizzas and burgers would need to become a regular part of her diet just like it was for him and Zoe it seemed. What a crazy reminder!

"Hey Douxie! Order up!"

That was his cue, and pocketing his phone, he made his way back out into the restaurant to finish his shift, chuckling at the memory of it all.

* * *

#  **1976**

Douxie took another bite out of his burger as he heard the front door shutting and the sound of keys jingling onto the table.

“Hey Zoe, you’re back. Arch and I got you a burger,” He said between bites, squinting down at the article in his magazine. “By the way, you want to go watch this Star Wars movie coming out next year? I'm hearing it might be pretty good.”

"Douxie!” she said abruptly, her hand coming up to crush what he was reading down onto the table.

“Hey!?”

“Put down the magazine, and listen! Meat is murder and we're going to try this vegetarian thing!"

"We are?”

“You are?” Archie blinked. 

“Why?" Douxie asked, adjusting himself in his chair as she released the magazine and took a few steps back.

“People have been really into it since the 60's and I think it’s a good idea. Healthy living, no more killing all those poor animals. Archie, come on, you’ve been like half of those animals!”

“Yes, and as a dragon, I can tell you that every one of them is delicious. Your point?”

“My point is, we’re trying this! I heard from that skinny annoying lady in the unit next door—”

“Hillary?” Both Douxie and Archie asked in unison.

“Right!” Zoe nodded. “So I heard from Hillary that she and her friends haven’t been eating meat for like five years and now they’ve got twice the energy they did before. Healthy living, twice the energy, all good things for late night magic hunts, and the bonus to the planet is too good to pass up.”

“Right…” Douxie eased cautiously. “But, do you remember what Archie and I told you— you know back when you were first figuring out how to be a witch?”

“I was doing pretty well on my own, thank you very much Mister I-Trained-Under-a-Master-Wizard.”

“I know, no… I know… but remember those key “wizards-only” rules I mentioned back then.”

“Like the conditional immortality and how we can’t be killed by mortal weapons? I remember.”

“Right right, those are two big perks— but the other thing involved is this sort of set back. It's like a—"

"A supernatural appetite for meats." Archie supplied.

"Exactly!" He nodded, snapping his fingers. "I’m not kidding, Zoe! This one time after Merlin created this massive spell, I watched him scarf down a whole haggis like it was fresh water in the dessert! I still have nightmares about it! And don’t even get me started on Morgana’s hanger cravings!” His nose crinkled and he shuddered once until Zoe tapped him on the head with his rolled up magazine before setting it back on the table.

“It’s fine! You’ve said it yourself that you never got any of those weird cravings, and I certainly haven’t. I think those two were just special cases. Nut cases if you ask me.”

He let out an unconvinced chuckle as his eyes did circles around the room.

“Come on, don’t make me do it alone! It’s easier if everyone does it.”

“Does that mean no more fish?” Archie asked.

“You’re a cat, Arch, you can still eat your fish…”

“Oh lovely, well then I’m all on board for this revolutionary new diet. Good luck with that, Douxie.”

He sat up.

“Now wait just a minute!” 

Zoe clasped her hands together, batting her blue eyes at him beneath the black bangs and braids of pink hair cupping her face. He opened his mouth to protest, then let out a sigh of defeat.

“Fine… fine… we’ll do the vegetarian thing…”

She threw a fist into the air.

“Yes!”

“But if I start having those weird cravings, Arch, I’m eating you first!”

He rolled his eyes.

“Oh ha, ha… This should be hilarious. I give you both a month before you’re sick of this fad and go back to eating meat like normal people.” 

“You’re on!” Zoe claimed. “Now help me clean out the fridge. We’re cutting out all nonessential, cold turkey!”

“Oh fuzzbuckets! No more turkey...” he whined.

“So does this mean that I can have your burger?” Archie stuck his head into the bag without waiting for a reply, the paper crinkling as he nearly fit his entire body into the cheap paper grease trap.

Meanwhile, Douxie shoved the rest of his own burger into his face before Zoe had time to turn around and stop him.

“Really guys?” At the sight of them both, she could only scoff and place both hands on her hips.

“Just getting it out of our system?” He said, unintelligibly. 

She rolled her eyes and stormed off into the kitchen, Douxie getting up to follow reluctantly behind her.

Meanwhile, Archie licked his whiskers and rubbed the splash of ketchup off of his glasses with an amused hum in his voice to follow as he watched the two discussing the contents of the fridge.

“Oh yes, this should be rather interesting indeed.”

* * *

#  **PRESENT DAY**

Zoe let out a laugh.

"We didn't make it six months!"

"Oh you did, and you were terrible company the entire time!" Archie chuckled. "But when I caught you two trying to kill each other in the apartment, I knew it was time to put our bet to rest."

"I still can't believe we got into that big of a fight."

Douxie rubbed his neck a little.

"Not one of our better moments. Those cravings are no joke. Glad we promised to make this a regular thing afterwards, yeah?"

"Right, right," she chuckled. "So tell me again. You think you found a new wizard at the restaurant?"

"She's a witch, actually, and I originally met her at that other high school a little while back."

"I thought all of the magic users went to Arcadia Oaks Academy?"

"Well, obviously not everyone got the memo." Archie chuckled. "Did she really devour a T-bone steak before you made it back through the door?"

"Yeah, it was pretty mental." Douxie nodded. "I haven't seen anything like that since Morgana. Still... the whole thing's not sitting right with me. I think it's best we keep an eye on her for now. You know how dangerous magic can be when you're first starting out, so untrained and unaware of how it all works."

"You sure you don't just have the hots for her?" Zoe nudged.

He made a series of appalled sounds before choking out.

"That is absolutely not what I meant and you know it!"

"I know." She smirked, shrugging a little. "Just wanted to mess with you. You make it so easy."

He pouted as Archie and Zoe teased him on each side and he sulked back into the bench.

*SLUUURP*

"Oh, come on Arch, that soda's for everyone!"

"Sorry," he lied.

"You—" He started before suddenly noticing the pickles missing from his own burger. He shot around to his other side and made a motion down to his burger. "Ugh! Zoe!"

She feigned innocence and shrugged at him again before taking another bite of her food.

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about." 

"You two are the worst!" He groaned, leaning his head back and smiling a bit to himself afterwards. "You know that?"

They both placed a head on him, Zoe on his shoulder and Archie on his leg as all three of them started to chuckle. 

"You worry too much. Guarding the whole world's magic population isn't your job."

"Yes." Archie teased. "Your jobs consist of being a waiter, a barista, and a barely successful bookstore owner."

He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, ha ha..."

He smiled up at the night sky as all three sat there on the park bench with their burgers, gazing up at the stars.

"It's a lovely night though, isn't it?"

"Although, I did hear about a new horde of goblins that moved into the area recently..." Archie started. 

"Oh yeah?" Zoe perked up and brought a fist into her own hand. "You guys maybe want to make this night a little more interesting and smash a few?"

"Do you need more goblin guts at Hex Tech?"

She shrugged.

"What can I say, they're more useful than people think? I'd much rather get them to stop eating all the alley cats I feed behind work though."

"Agreed." Archie nodded.

Douxie saw the determined glares of his two cohorts and let out a shrug and a laugh as he crumbled up their trash and shot it behind them into the dumpster.

"Well, alright then, let's make this night a goblin hunt. But—" He yawned. "Let's make it a short one. I have an early shift in the morning."

"Deal."

**Author's Note:**

> (This was originally part of a chaptered series, but I decided would be better as its own thing.)


End file.
